Fall

I saw you again
For the first time in ages
You looked just the same
But you sounded so different
Your manner of speaking and
The tone of your voice
Were so changed. 

If I were a bird
I’d have fluttered away
But as I don’t have wings
I was required to stay
In my place at the register
Ringing you up
In the most awkward way
In that stupid café... 

I saw you again
For the first time in ages
You looked just the same
But you sounded so different
Your manner of speaking and
The tone of your voice
Were so changed. 

And I’d never seen that shirt before
And I’d never seen that bag before
And I shouldn’t want to see you more
Often, but I do... 

And I’d never seen that scarf before
And I’d never seen that hat before
And I shouldn’t want to see you more
Often, but I do, I do, I do... 

It’s been a whole year. 
It’s been twelve whole months. 
The innumerable minutes— 
I counted each one. 
In a manner of speaking
I still really love you
And I can’t get you, can’t get you
Out of my head. 

I’ve spent all this time
In extensive reflection
And in my recollection
The things that I said
Were gratuitous
In their emotional content
And I’m sorry
If saying them scared you away. 

I shouldn’t have acted the way that I acted
I shouldn’t have called you
I should have retracted
The things that I said
At the moment I said them
Or better yet
I should’ve never been born. 

I should have retracted
The things that I said
At the moment I said them
I shouldn’t have called you
I shouldn’t have acted the way that I acted
I need to be punished
I need to be punished
I need to be punished
I need to be punished... 

Every thought inside my head
Is suddenly exploding; 
Every object in my room
Is suddenly too dull; 

Everything I feel inside my heart
Is fully inappropriate; 
Every object in my room
Is suddenly too dull... 

There’s only a window there
Only a window there
Only a window, only a window
(You can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it) 
There’s only a window, only a window, only a window, only a window there… 

There’s only a window there
Only a window there
Only a window, only a window
(You can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it) 
There’s only a window, only a window, only a window, only a window there… 

... 

There’s only a window there
Only a window there
Only a window, only a window
(You can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it) 
There’s only a window, only a window, only a window, only a window there… 

There’s only a window there
Only a window there
Only a window, only a window
(You can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it) 
There’s only a window, only a window, only a window, only a window there… 

There’s only a window there
Only a window there
Only a window, only a window
(You can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it) 
There’s only a window, only a window, only a window, only a window there… 

I close my eyes and
In my memories, 
I’m drowning in your coat; 
I’m gathering the leaves that fall... 

In my memories, 
I’m drowning in your coat... 
I’m just jumping in the leaves
that
fall....